homies vs sapiens (suka buat terok)

I'm home.. totally home.. but its just quite weird here.. i totally freaking out of all these malays~

not that bad actually. just "aq mmg suka buat terok". haha. bajet x pernah nampak org melayu.. 

malu la nak bercakap dengan org tua.. aq takut aq silap cakap, kang kena cop free ja.. kang rasa mcm nak benam muka dlm tanah mcm ostrich ja.. kang rasa cm nak pakai topeng vendetta bg org tak kenai..

yet ibu said, "its better to be known n recognize by others, this shows that you are a person to be talked with by other, rather then being ignored and disliked by other, isn't it?"

Ibu totally hit that words straight to my head, like a short gun! SHOT!

Im keep repeating, "i feel so scared", without reason.. and now i really feel so~ seriously~

why? many things possible to be scared of.. dont ya think so?

Tadi aq nampak atie, aq ushar je~ aq segan nak tegur dia.. aq rasa bersalah sbb x wish bday dia.. aq ingat bday dia, tpi aq terlupa betul3 bila haritu tiba.. tensyen3~ tensyen atas sebab x munasabah.. memberatkan fikiran dengan perkara temeh dan meringankan perkara yg penting~ ottoekke????

ALHAMDULILLAH, im finally home after a 'stormy' way to reach home~

manalah tak, aq punya pasport dah tamat tempoh.. sedihkan? sedih laa~ mmg la senang ckp "buat la baru".. tpi aq ni mmg la tensyen x de sbb munasabah.. imaginasi terlalu terok.. suka buat terok.haha..

aq menempuh ranjau berduri dlm ekspidisi aq menempuh tempoh nak dpt buat pasport~ serious seksa sbb aq terpaksa menunggu berjam2, pergi berulang kali, sesat disana sini, mengalirkan duit bagai lautan yg surut dan pasang(bila ibu bank in), menitiskan butir2 yang menderu dipipi, menyempitkan hati, melalalikan diri dengan hiburan merusakkan hati~ 

mengenai peperiksaan aq, haha! jangan tanya! kenapa? well, its just happened to be not so well, i failed in managing my self n my heart, busying in other matters, indulging in others problems, crashing my own target and aim, abandoning my soul needs~ well its just went all by that super tearing heart conditioned circumstances which i choose wrongly..

As Imam al-Ghazaly said:

"Yang Jauh itu WAKTU, 
yang Dekat itu MATI, 
yang Besar itu NAFSU, 
yang Berat itu AMANAH, 
yang Mudah itu MENINGGALKAN SOLAT, 
dan yang Tajam itu LIDAH" ~